Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The Post Where I Talk About Food and Become Quite Snarky

Does this happen to you?
I go grocery shopping, come home hungry and can't find anything to eat.
Oh, me neither then.

I'm in a food rut.
I buy the same old things week after week.
I'm never happy with my choices when I look for something to make for lunch.
I stare into the fridge believing that something exciting will materialize.
That leprechauns have come in during the night and stocked my pantry.
I get mad.
I only have myself to blame.
I do all the shopping.

So why do I keep buying the same boring stuff?
Lack of imagination?
Fear of spending money on new food only to find it's grody?
I have no idea.

But today will be different.
I have a plan.
I'm making out my list this morning.
Going to buy the usual stuff.
Bread, milk, ding dongs, you know, the essentials.

And then I'm just going to find someone to follow and throw the same stuff into my cart that they do.
Daring, yes?
The problem is locating the right sort of person.
I don't want to follow her.
Because, like I said, I already have Ding Dongs on my list.

And I don't want to follow her.
Because obviously, she's only there for beauty supplies and I need food.

This guy may seem promising

but I'm afraid I would only come away with potatoes, okra, and chafing cream.

I'm on a mission though.
Drastic measures and all that.
I will be interested to see what ends up in my cart.
I'll keep you posted.



Shelia said...

LOL! You funny funny gal! Love all those pictures and if those folks are in your grocery store, maybe you need to go to another one! :)
I so relate with you though about just coming back from the grocery store and not having anything to eat that I don't have to cook! I hate that! I think I'll find me one of those short short skirts! :) You know I'm teasing! :) I'm not going to show off my little fat stuff! ;)
Be a sweetie,
Shelia ;)

Kris said...

Well if you follow the first gal, the one who's fanny has fallen out of her skirt, you would be sure to find some good junk!!! I did the same thing Holly, the food rut, not the arse hanging out the skirt....until Greg began shopping with me. Then we saw the market in a whole different way. He put things in the cart, and we wound up cooking totally different meals. Now, we go to fresh & easy and/or Henry's together weekly. It is fun. I enjoy it. And we try new foods. Try to drag the mister out there with you and see what happens!

Marie said...

LOL i'm in a food rut too!!i think it has a lot to do with the fact i despise my kitchen. (at least that's what i keep telling myself...) i find that i grocery shop a LOT though and i can still never find anything to cook. :o/

Marie said...

AND i love how the first three of us to comment have photos of us holding a camera! lol

Jan said...

Thanks for my morning dose of HOLLY. Snort.......

My sweet daughter sent me WalMart photos the other day and I almost forwarded them to you, but didn'nt know if I'd offend you. lol But I haven't seen the ones you posted and let me say, that that 'man' needs the extra-large tube of chafing cream. Yikes

Ok, I'm with you on shopping. I do the same thing. We all do. Ruts are hard to get out of. And when you have nobody there to help you break out, well, you know. I mean how many things can you make with chicken?

Here IS a hint for you, my friend. Get a large Pork Roast (boneless), cut it in half, put them into the crock-pot, dump a can of RoTel tomatoes on top, turn that puppy on and VIOLA...dinner is served at 6pm. It lasts forever and is tender and flaky.

This should get you through a couple of days. You're welcome.

Tammy said...

LMAO!!! You are too funny.

Dina said...

If I had known you were gonna post my pic as I walked through Wally World I woulda worn my sparkly panties :0.
Girl, you crack me up...are ya sure we aren't related?

Lucy (aka rharper) said...

Many is the time that I have stood by the meat counter in a daze. . . (well granted - it was when I cooked meat more and had to have that pesky 4:30 pm meal ready every night which now I don't have to do that except for morning when Hank wants his teaspoonful of food). . gasssssp . . .and wished fervently that they'd been another animal created because I was sick of the same ole' ones.

I was never much of a cook.

Erika said...

Lmao Holly you're hilarious! Ding dongs are ah-mazing in the freezer fyi, jus sayn. I haven't had one since I was pregnant.

I am a creature of habbit also! Its scary to step outside the box O comfort zone. Try a panini bread & make sandwhiches on the stove with it, or get a package of tortillas or wraps, or bagels with sprouts & hummus to spice up the sandwhiches. Baby steps like different lunch meats or adding avacado, or sliced cucumbers.
Good luck! :)

Tabitha said...

Happens to me all the time. I get out of the rut by making food from random recipes that sound like they'll actually be eaten by my very picky three year old daughter and my even pickier 36 year old husband. It ain't easy. lol I also like to try to recreate my favorite restaurant foods. That can be fun.

Seven Gates Farm said...

Oooh, la, la ... there's junk in that trunk!! Don't even touch her cart!! Stick with your blogging buddies, we'll help you out. Stick with Jan above, get a dang crock pot! Hey, its summer time, there's so much fresh stuff out there. Is your fella at home a meat & potatos man? That's easy. Grill out OR buy it already made, put it in your dishes and tell them all you made it. Deb

Laraine Eddington said...

A food rut is better than a starving rut. There, I always like to post at least one self righteous zinger per day.

WhitMc said...

This is hilarious! Oh my gosh, I was totally expecting a post about how you perused some cooking blog and found all sorts of inspiration, blah, blah, blah. Nope. Dying. And that is such a good idea. I am going to try it one day.

Amy said...

Those pictures are hilarious. I would lose my appetite following the girl with her butt falling out of her skirt.

Genn said...

OH my word I am smiling and LMAO! Love your posts Holly. Can we hang out???

I am still laughing about the chafing cream. Yeah, don't follow him. :)

Good luck spicing the old cart up. Follow somebody who looks fun!

Melynda said...

When I read this at work yesterday, I was laughing so hard, I wasn't able to comment before being called away for another semi-emergency! This post is great! So do you really look like that if you eat ding dongs? See I don't really know, I can't see there in my mirror.....

Mikalah said...

Aaah, scary! Good luck with your shopping trip, and hopefully you won't run into anyone like that!

jenny said...

you know that day i just posted about (the one full of gloom)? the one that I mentioned h-e-double hockey sticks?? THIS made my day... look up... WAY up. and I'm still laughing. and giggling inside at how i love you.

lifeinredshoes said...

Do you know that some think these people don't exist? The last time I was at Hellmart I saw a man in a full length, blue crushed velvet dress!!!!!!!

Tiffany said...

LOL!!!! I have a solution for you that doesn't involve following bizarre people around Wally World. I'm a serious coupon fanatic. I mix up my grocery shopping by using coupons with what is on sale, usually trying what I normally wouldn't because its cheap! Please take my advice instead of following those people around...they frighten me.