Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Reasons Why My Husband Should Cut His Losses and Divorce Me Now

We've had a good run.
Married seven and a half years.
Had some great times together.
I'm going to miss him.

If you've been following me on Facebook,
you already know that in addition to deciding I needed new flooring,
I decided that I should get new baseboards.

Then on Saturday morning I woke up and thought,
Let's paint the house while we are at it.
And it seemed like such a wise decision since
we had no furniture in the house.
You're all with me, right?

So on Sunday morning I sent my darling husband off to
Home Depot to buy 5 gallons of Behr Wheat Bread.
I knew I would love the color because I have Chocolate Froth, 
which is the next color up on the paint strip, in the bedroom
and it is such a pretty taupey tan.

Here are some pics from the www of Behr Wheat Bread.

So all day Saturday, my husband taped off all the crown molding
and all the windows while I painted my ass off.
(I wish)
We painted well into the evening and even my
dear sweet Sally 
(best friend/step mommy)
came and helped.

When Sally walked in the door and saw the paint color,
her face just dropped.
I wondered if she was having a mini stroke.
Nope, she knew.
She knew that I had done something really stupid.
And I should have known that look because 
I do a lot of really stupid things.

I just kept painting, hoping that the color would change as it dried.
Sally, bless her heart,
helped me slap that miserable color on the wall.
Because that's what friends do.
They make you feel less stupid by acting as though
they, themselves, are also stupid.

And the color didn't get any better.
It was blue.
Gray blue.
Very gray blue.
I figured I would sleep on it and the color would magically
change into the most amazing decision of my life.

It didn't.

Apparently, I live in some reverse color wheel twilight zone universe.

I can't get a good picture of it with my iphone
but it looks like this.

So after Brian left for work,
my tile layer, Phillip, came and starting laying my pretty tile.
And the walls got worse.
Like a thousand times worse.

Even Phillips said,
"Um, why did you paint you walls this color?"
And my daughter Katie came over after I called her
and stated how awful it was.
And so I fretted all day long about how I was
going to tell Brian that we needed to repaint.

Sally came over and I made her tell me what to do.
Because Sally knows everything.
She will deny this because she likes to keep 
her wisdomy super powers undercover.
Buts she always makes the right decisions,
the first time.
And she brought me paint samples
from home and a slapped them on the wall,
and we found the perfect color
that looks great with the counter tops,
the cabinets and the flooring.

And then I told Brian.

And you know what,
he didn't really care.
He just said that he was never taping 
anything off for me ever again,
and I thought that was a fair trade since 
I really thought I deserved a good beating.
Did I mention that Brian is colorblind?
I'm not kidding, he really is.

Now I am hiring a painter.
And in addition to the walls, he is going
to paint the ceiling and the baseboards.
Because I am done!

So I am making a vow.
I am never making another decision again.
Sally will make all my decisions for me.
And I will always listen to my husband.
And I will not spend any more money.

However, I do have to wonder how my old furniture will look
next to all my new flooring and paint.


Sunday, July 27, 2014

So Far....I am Surviving This.

Once upon a time
I had two dogs
and enough dog hair in my carpet
to make at least one more.

Ranger, my yellow lab,
is a shedder.
June Bug, our newest edition,
is still learning all about
doggie doors and potty training.

Can you say, EEWWWWWW!

Last week after one June Bug accident,
I lost my cool and decided to call
our friend Phillip
who is an awesome tile layer and 
just get a quote.

I'd been looking at flooring for
quite some time.
I love the look of wood but know it 
wouldn't be practical for us.

I found wood look tile and
did some research on it and it really
seemed to be the perfect solution for us.

We have a pool
and a Lab who loves to swim
and he usually has wet paws
or muddy paws,
or dusty paws.

I called Phillip thinking maybe I
could get a quote and then mull things over
for a few weeks
and make a decision.

Phillips said, I'll be over in a few minutes
to measure and give you a quote.
Um, okay.

He came and gave us a very fair price
for labor.
Then he said,
"I can start ripping all this out tomorrow."
It just so happened that he had a break between jobs
and could either fit us in RIGHT NOW
or we would have to wait a few months.

I looked at the carpet and said,
"Rip it Out!"
And I didn't even have my tile picked out,
nor did I have a price for it.
But I didn't care.
I decided that living on concrete
was better than what I had been dealing with.

I did all this without discussing this with my husband.
This is something I would never do.
We always make large financial decisions together.

When he came home from work, I told him about 
what I had done.
He said, "Can we afford this?"
I told him, "Probably not."

We decided to do it anyway.
He was just as grossed out with the carpet as I was.
These were desperate times.

I went to Floor and Decor right away
and found a tile that I really liked.
Brought home the sample and placed it up against the walls
and counter tops.
It was a winner.

 All pics are from my iPhone, so we are blurry right now.
And my lens is probably dusty.

It was also very affordable.
Three pallets were delivered the next day.
Trying to get the same die lot was a little tricky 
and we actually had to go with three different die lots.
Fortunately, when they arrived,
they were all great.

We are having the entire house done in this tile.
Every single room.
All 1587 square feet of it.

Phillip showed up the next day and got to work.

We have been wanting to change out the flooring since
we moved into this house a year and a half ago
but couldn't do it at that time.

The kitchen was pergo.
Under the pergo was old glued down linoleum.
The living areas and bedrooms were all carpet.
The bathrooms were tile.

The kitchen, laundry room,
living room, dining room,
hallway and guest bath were all ripped out on Friday.

He is doing the bedrooms, my office
and our master bath after the front part of the house is complete
so we have don't have to move every piece of furniture out
of the house.
We can just shift things from room to room.

We have some major foundation cracks but he is taking
care of that.

We then decided that we probably should redo the baseboards
as long as we are at it.
I also have a friend that does cabinets, doors and trim.
I called him up
and asked him to come and give us a quote.
We are going from 2 1/2 inch baseboards
to 4 1/4 inch.
Again, Brian says, "Can we afford this?"
I respond, "Not really."

This was under the Pergo.
Pain in the butt to get out.

So here we are,
living in the dust bowl.

Seriously, we have a lot of our furniture on the back patio,
and have had two major dust storms 
since putting it out there.

We believe the tile will take about a week and a half
to complete.

So for right now,
we are eating out a lot 
and bringing food home.
Because my entire house is like this right now.

Wish me luck!


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

What the Heck has Holly Been Doing?

Hey Folks!

Let me tell you about what's been going on 
in my neck of the woods these days.

While everyone on Pinterest
has gotten the spring cleaning bug,
I've been busy doing a little cleaning
but have gotten the 
"Let's do a project" bug!

A few months ago I decided to change out
the colors in my house.

I went from reds and yellows
to blues and yellows.
While it was very pretty,
it never felt like my house.

I kept walking into the living room
wondering who lived there.
It was so NOT my style.

Fortunately, I didn't spend a lot of money
to make these changes.
The only semi expensive piece I bought was the 
blue ottoman in the picture above.

After trying to love it for a couple of months,
I sorta went crazy the other morning and 
moved my reds back into the living room and kitchen.

I'm home again.
I think it's impossible for me to be happy
in a house without red and yellow.
 This picture looks like I have yellow walls.
I do not.
That's just the sunlight coming through the open door to the right.
They are off white but I'm digging the yellow in the picture.

The blues all got moved into the bedroom
since it's still a work in progress.

As for the projects,
I just sorta went nuts.

I've been seeing a lot of DIY chalk paint
on Pinterest lately and thought I'd give it a try.
I'm a goner now.

I am head over heels in love with chalk paint!
You can do no wrong with it.
It doesn't show brush strokes
and it's very forgiving.
There's no preparation,
you don't have to sand before painting.
It drys very quickly.

I'm a horrible painter
which is something my daughter pointed out to me 
just a couple of weeks ago.

I hate the preparation.
The waiting for the project to dry.

For the chalk paint I used 
at I Heart Naptime.

It was so simple to make and I was hooked.

Please excuse the photo quality
on all of these.
They were all taken with my iPhone.

Here is an old before picture from my previous house
 of an end table that I bought
 at Goodwill several years ago.
Not bad but the honey pine 
just wasn't doing it for me.

I forgot to take a before picture
prior to this project.

I used Behr Pale Honey on the bottom
and Minwax stain in walnut for the top.

I love the soft yellow.
The picture below shows the color more accurately.

Then I sorta lost my mind and 
decided to pull out an old dresser
that I've had forever.
I had bought it for $2.00 at a garage sale
a few years ago.
I had gotten around to sanding it
and there it sat, just like that for over two years.
Crazy right?

Because in just over an hour it went from this:

To this:

I used Behr Awning Red.
I was shocked that I found my perfect red on my first try.

If you're thinking about painting a piece of furniture,

Also, I've been playing around with color
in the house.
I have some fabric that I bought a few years
ago and love it.
I actually loved it so much that I never wanted to
cut it and use it.
Am I crazy?

I finally decided to attempt to use it.

I bought six of these chairs on Craigslist 
after we moved into this house.
While sturdy, they are a little boring.


I attached it to the seat pads with
upholstery twist pins
 and I'm liking this happy fabric 
on my chairs.

If you can look at this fabric
and not smile,
then I just don't want to know you.

The chairs themselves need some work.
They are dried out and in need of 
a good wood conditioning.
I bought them off Craigslist from a guy
who raised St. Bernard puppies.

Teeth marks add character in my book.

Next project.
It's just a small one.
I had an old outdoor tablecloth
that I never used anymore.
I made some pillows out of it
for my side patio.

 And now I had better get to the spring cleaning.
And then I may just run to Goodwill to see what needs painted.

Also, if you could say a prayer for
my dear friend, Kris at Simplify.
Her Momma had surgery today.
Kris has the most amazing family.
Keep them in your thoughts and prayers today.


I'm linking up to The Golden Sycamore

Thursday, March 6, 2014

So You Think You Want a Puppy?

Two blog posts in two days!
That's gotta be some kinda record.
Someone throw me a tiara!

I want to talk about something important here.
But first, let's look at some pictures.

Meet Ranger.

 He was cute here.  

And here.

 And here.

But then he started to grow very quickly.

Look at those paws!

The incredible growing dog.

How does this happen in such a short period of time?

How does one dog eat so much?
How does one dog poop so much?
How did he become such an oaf?

How does one adoring mom take so many pictures of her dog?

Now, I am not just writing this post to show you cute pictures.
I also want to help you out a bit.

I'm sure that everyone at one time or another
has had a puppy,
or been around a puppy,
or knew someone that had a puppy,
or accidentally ran over a puppy.

Puppies are irresistible,
if you are not planning on getting one,
then stay away from them all together.
If you see, smell or hold a puppy,
you will take it home with you.
You are not strong enough to walk away.
You have to trust me on this.

God loves puppies so he gave them
sweet puppy breath,
the ability to chase their tails and 
to fall asleep with their heads in food dishes.
This is where they get you.
Then you take one home and
God laughs and laughs.

Listen up People!!

I want to tell you why you don't want a puppy,
and offer some advice if you are bat shit crazy and  get one anyway.

1)    If you get a puppy, you will need to work from home.
         This is quite difficult to do if you are, for instance, 
         a plumber or a Las Vegas Showgirl.
         Lucky for me, I am neither, so I was able to stay home 
         and work with him on potty training during the day.
         It is also necessary for you to be home because 
         you will need to take a lot of naps (see #2).

2)     You will need to take a lot of naps.
         This is because for the first five nights, your sweet puppy
         will scream like a howler monkey on crack even though he is only
         two feet away from your bed.
         There is nothing you can do about this.
         There are books out there that tell you to put a stuffed animal and 
         and a ticking alarm clock in his bed to comfort him.
         This is a lie.
         These things will only piss him off.

3)      Dogs shed.
         Even dogs that don't shed, shed.
         I have a friend that has a hairless cat and it sheds.
         Okay, that was a lie.
         But seriously, most dogs shed.
         We have a yellow Lab (see adorable pictures above) and I have never
         seen so much hair fall out of an animal in all my born days.
         If you do get a puppy, only choose the one in the litter 
         that matches your couch.
         You must buy a Furminator.
         Seriously, people, listen to me.  This thing is da bomb!!
4)      Puppies are expensive.  Been saving up for retirement?
         Forget about it!
         Dog crate, dog bed, dog food, well puppy checks, vaccinations,
         spay or neuter, Furminator (see #3), leashes, microchip, collars, 
         toys (see #5), exploratory surgery because you bought a 
         couch coordinated half witted dog that eats rocks (true story).

5)      Do not pay for toys.
         Your dog will not play with the cute squeaky bunny that you bought 
         at Petsmart from the Martha Stewart Collection. He will also not play with
         the rope toy, the variety of different size bones, the blinking balls or the 
         stuffed raccoon that you bought for him.  
         He will only play with the 16 ounce Diet Mountain Dew bottle 
         that your husband brings home every day after work.  
         And rocks.
         He will play with rocks (see #4).

6)     Dogs need consistency.  If you don't want your dog to be allowed
        on the couch, you will need to say "NO COUCH!" approximately
        3,256 times a day until he gets it. 
        Once he gets it, you will then start on "NO CAT TURDS!"
        This one is extremely important if you have a garden 
        and feral cats in your neighborhood.

7)     If you get a male puppy, he will hump stuff 
        and he won't care who knows it.
        Most likely it will be your favorite microfiber throw or your bed pillow.  
        He will be proud of his cleverness 
        and want to show anyone that happens to come over.

 I hope we've all learned something here today.

So why did we get a puppy?

Because we're morons.
And he's cute.
And a pain in the ass.
I can't imagine life without him.

Welcome Home Ranger Danger.