It's been busy around here the past few days. Baking yummy stuff, cleaning the house, and work has been a little more hectic than usual. I decided to try to be crafty again. Yes, I know. You don't have to say it.
My sister and I talked a few months back about how creative and artistic our mother was and our father still is. We decided we didn't get that gene. I'm not going to let that stop me though. I want to CREATE!! I decided to make my own Christmas cards this year. If they all turn out really ugly, I'll send them all to my sister. She would appreciate the effort, anyway.
I'll show you just a few for now. Also, if you are really crafty, please move on to the next blog because I would rather you didn't see these. My first attempts:
They may not be perfect but it's keeping me out of the bars.
I was sitting in the parking lot at Kohl’s the other morning waiting for it to open.I had a few minutes to spare so I grabbed my cell and called my girlfriend.We had chatted for about ten minutes and I wanted to check the time to see how much longer I had to wait for the store to open.
I was rummaging through my purse and I said, “ I think I lost my cell phone.It’s not in my purse.”
My girlfriend, Bless her heart, said, “Are you sure you brought it with you?”
So, I was Goodwill the other day.Remember when I bought all that fabric?Yes, that day. I also found some plates that I just loved.The colors were so pretty. They were in great condition. I bought 6 dinner plates and 6 salad plates.
When I got home I looked them up on line and found out that they are vintage 50’s plates and are worth quite a bit.SCORE!!! Hubby is happy because he assumes that I’m going to sell them on Etsy, but I’m not.Shhh.. I’m keeping them.But that is not what this post is about.
Here's what this post is about.
After I put the plates in my cart I walked past this thing that grabbed my attention.I couldn’t stop staring at it.I was thinking, “Who in their right mind buys something like that?What is wrong with people? “.
I started to walk away but those plastic beady eyes seemed to be following me. I went back to look at it again. One of the eyes was halfway out. It was filthy. Yet…..
I put it in my cart and grabbed a towel to cover it up. I didn’t want anyone to see what I have just placed in there. I went to the checkout and put the thing on the counter. The cashier looked at it and said, “Holy Cr*p!” I hung my head, and whispered, “I know.”
When I got home I took it out of the bag and put it on the kitchen counter. I kept walking past it all day. I finally picked her up (see, now “it’s” become a “she”) and scrubbed her in the kitchen sink. Then I pulled her eyes out. My husband came home about this time and said, “Holly, what is that?”
I said, “I bought her at Goodwill. I will name her Mookey, and she will be my Mookey.” He just kinda stared at me. I guess he was never much of a Nemo fan.
After her bath, the makeover began. I stuck different things from around the house in her eye sockets; buttons, beads, what have you. I liked the look of these glittered brads the best and so did she. She wanted to be festive and enjoys the holidays so she got a Christmas ribbon around her neck with a bulb on it and a red nose.
She's happy for now but is looking forward to dressing up for New Years Eve!
See it? Yes, that fork right there. It's saved my marriage numerous times and my husband doesn't even know it. My forks don't match, never have, probably never will so I know exactly which fork this is.
The Story of The Fork
written by Holly A. Blevi-ya-ya
Nonfiction (and true too)
Once upon a time, about three years ago, a loving wife cooked a spectacular meal for her husband. This wife had spent most of the day shopping for and preparing one of her husband's favorites. The wife was so excited for her husband to come home and to see his delight at the wondrous creation she had .... um....created.
The husband did come home and he had had a particularly bad day at work. He accepted the plate his wife offered him and she stood over him waiting to hear something like, "Oh dear dear wife. I know not what I doeth to deserve such a fine wife as you. You have prepared my favorite meal and I am not worthy of your thoughtfulness!"
This is not what happened. The husband ate his meal in silence. After a few bites he had this annoyed look on his face and left the table to get a different fork. "I hate this fork!" he growled.
There was nothing wrong with that fork. It was maybe a little lighter in weight than the others but it worked like a fork should, it did it's thing just fine.
When the meal was finished and the wife was doing the dishes she washed that little fork. She thought about throwing it out, but that seemed just wrong. She instead, tucked it in the back of the drawer behind the cutlery tray.
And that's the story of the Fork.
My husband and I have been married for almost four years and we have never had an argument. Not one. It's not because we know what it takes to make a great marriage. It's not because we have been to couples retreats. It's because of this fork. When I'm irritated with him, I will still make him a nice dinner and then I place this fork on the table. He doesn't even know it. I feel better, he gets to eat. It all works out.
I went to check the mail yesterday. I am terrible about checking our mail. I get to it about once a week and then find that the mailman has stuffed everything inside to the best of his ability. Lo and behold, I had nine catalogs. That's a lot, even for me. However, one of them had my husband's name on it. No, it wasn't the 2011 Craftsman Tools catalog or even the Harbor Freight Christmas Special catalog. Somehow, the catalog fairies must have confused my big ol redneck husband with a uber creative decorating type she man.
I love cast iron. I know you're thinking "Holly, the prices are great but shipping cast iron would cost a fortune!" Hate to tell you this but you are wrong mistaken. Shipping is only $5, any order, any size! They also have a lot of Christmas items that are very cute.
I left the house to run to the drug store for something. I swear, that's what I was planning on doing. I had no idea that my Jeep would veer into the Goodwill parking lot. Thirty one pillowcases and eight sheets later I made it home.
"Oh Holly! What are you planning to do with all of those? None of them even match!" That's what I imagine you are saying right now. Well, I do have plans for these....big plans. Not gonna tell you just yet though.
My mind turns to mush every Friday. I can't think of anything witty to say. I don't want to think. I've decided to just post a picture every Friday. No words. So this is the first Foto Friday. No words, except this post has words. But these words won't be here every Friday, not just these words but any words. So no words. Got it?
What's that you say? No, Zee Zuper Cuts it would not do. I was in dire need of a good cut. I knew I was in the right place when I saw these smiling faces!
And no sips from a rusty water fountain at this place. Drinks and cookies and snacks, Oh my!
I even took a picture of myself in the lovely pink bathroom so you could see how bad my hair looked before. Just as I was taking this photo, somone knocked on the door and I dropped the camera in the sink.
I told you my hair was bad!
Then I met Michelle. The lovely Michelle. She started with a consultation where she allowed me to complain and cry and rip at my hair before dragging me off to wash it. The scalp massage was what dreams are made of. When she finished and I wiped the drool from my chin, she went to work with the scissors and the razor.
She looks oh so serious here. At one point she looked at me and said, "One side of your hair is shorter than the other." I did my best to looked surprised, "Really, huh? That's weird." I didn't tell her I cut gaping uneven patches out of it a couple of days before. (Sorry, Michelle, I didn't know you that well and I wouldn't have been able stand the look of pity on your face had you known).
She snipped and chopped and sliced and when she was done I felt lighter, happier, and my hair was doing this really cool swingy thing when I turned my head.
I was feeling pretty groovy and was driving home when I noticed how great my hair smelled. I began swishing my hair back and forth kinda fast in order to smell it better and inadvertently swerved just a tad over into the other lane. Apparently the guy that honked at me didn't notice how cute my hair looked, nor did he acknowledge me when I pointed to my head and mouthed "Sorry, I was smelling my hair!".
Husband is sitting on the couch watching Nascar because it’s Sunday and that’s what he does. I stagger in and throw myself on the loveseat with my hand on my forehead. It’s very dramatic.
Me: I think I’m getting sick.
Him: You catching a cold?
Me: I think so, I feel wonky. Head full of boogers.
Him: Wonky?? Ok, go lay down for a while.
(This is a nice way of saying, I’m truly sorry that you’re not feeling well but I’m trying to watch the race.)
Me: No, I’m fine. You know how you feel the day you catch a cold?
Me: Well, it’s not like that day.
Me: And you know how you feel the day before you catch a cold?
Me: It’s not like that day either. It’s like the day before the day before you catch a cold. That’s how I feel.
Him: Really? Go take some Nyquil and go to bed.
I double dosed the Nyquil and slept the sleep of ten thousand babies.
Scene Two: This morning
Takes place on the back patio while drinking our coffee.
Him: You feeling better?
Me: Yes, I slept really well.
Him: So your cold is gone?
Me: Well, you know how you feel two days after your cold is gone?
Me: That’s how I feel.
Nyquil has time warp capabilities. That’s the only explanation. Somehow I went from two days before a cold to two days after a cold. With the cold duration factored in, I somehow went from Sunday to next Saturday.
First and foremost, please allow me to apologize for showing you my crazy obsessive side yesterday in this post while I kind of went over the edge with the raisins. It was not pretty so I appreciate the fact that you came back at all.
We're feeling pretty lazy around here this morning.
I'm in desperate need of a manicure so I may do that. When did my hands start looking like this?
I cooked a big pot of chili yesterday so it's leftovers today. Possibly chili dogs if I get really adventurous.
See anything weird in this picture?
No? Look closer.
Right there in the back corner. Still don't see it? OK, a little closer.
Seriously, you don't see it? Can you hear it? OK, I'm taking my life in my hands for you.
It may not look like much but there are hundreds of bees around and under our shed. We have had a problem with them for the past year. We call pest control, they get rid of them and then 3 months later they come back. We were told by the company that they are Africanized.
I got a chance to organize my craft closet the other day. It was ugly.
And last but certainly not least, I got to babysit chickens the other day. My girlfriend just bought two week old chickens and asked me to check in on them while she was at work. Their names are Laverne and Shirley and for now they are living in her kitchen. What??? You don't have chickens in your kitchen?