Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Why I Need to Learn to Knit Booties.

My Dear Darling Daughter, Katie,
has always said that she never wants children.
She doesn’t want to be a mother.

That alone isn’t the real tragedy.
The tragedy lies in the fact that I fear
that I may never become a grandmother.
Because, really, isn’t this about me?

Did you hear me??
I may never become a grandmother!
No one will ever call me Meemaw!
It’s just tragic.
And too sad for words.

So of course, as I always do
when I'm faced with the possibilityof one door closing,
I look around for the next one to kick down.

And I met my son for lunch yesterday.

Immediately after receiving my salad I started in.

Me: “Do you think you’ll ever have kids?”

Dan: “Sure.”

Me: “Really??!! You plan on having children?”

Dan: “Well, yeah. After I get married and turn 30.”

Then I get all nonchalanty-like.
Like it’s no big deal.
Like the rest of my life doesn’t depend on this conversation.

Me: “Oh, that’s nice.”

And then I go one step too far.

Me: “So, can I name your first child?”

Dan: “Only if it’s a girl.”

Me: “Why only if it’s a girl?”

Dan: “Because I have my son’s name picked out already.”

Seriously, how sweet is that?
My son has actually given this some thought.
He has lovingly pictured this child in his mind.
And chosen a name for my grandson.
I want to pull out my scissors and take
a lock of his hair and paste it in a book
so that I'll remember this moment forever.

Me: “So, what are you going to name your son?’

Dan: “Optimus Prime.”

And you know what?
There are worse things in the world
than being called Opie.
I hear Ron Howard is doing just fine.



Tammy said...


Chris said...

I just love your blog - what a chuckle I had - I know what it is like hoping and waiting for a grandchild. Be patient, it will happen - I was 62 before I new I was going to be one for the first time and now the second is on the way. "Optimus Prime", is he serious???? LOL

just call me jo said...

I could call you Meemaw if you want. I'm sure it would satisfy the yearning. Your son sounds delightful. I would give you my daughter right now, but I'm keeping the grandkids. I like them better than her, for sure.

Laraine Eddington said...

With a potential name like that in his pocket, that boy is going to find it easy to find a wife.

connie said...

I wish we had a photo of the look on your face when he said "Optimus Prime" That is hilarious

deb said... of my best friends son name is Oland Paul and he is called opie...AND he has red hair and freckles.....when he was little it was so much...lmao

Bethany said...

Optimus Prime! Hahahahahahaha! Love it! You better get those knittin' stix clickin'!

Whosyergurl said...

LOVE IT. Your son sounds like a great kid! My son is turning 25 and he is a good boy, too.
xo, Cheryl

Anonymous said...

hahahahaha Ahhh sweet baby Optimus Prime!

Kris said...

Oh my!!! Your kids will probably be turning them out one right after the other in a few years.
I somehow missed your last hysterical post. Truly Holly, you missed your calling. You should be doing stand up!!

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

At least you have a 50/50 chance, both of my sons are against having kids. Something about them being too expensive, crying too much and sucking up all of your time... huh, that was news to me:@)

Anonymous said...

I only have one son, who declared when he was a child he didn't want children. I don't think I'm going to get to be a granny!!

Linda said...

I always assumed I would be a Grandma too...never assume...just like they sons are in their 30' grand wives...what's a gal got to do to get them busy!!

Melynda said...

Just so you know, when it comes to grandkids, it IS about you. Don't let anyone tell you different, cause they are just being PC and acting like it is an equal opportunity world, but I tell ya when it comes to grandkids there is no equal opportunity. I did not think I would get to be a grandmother, but darn if that birth control didn't fail. Score one for this granny!

Anonymous said...

Well THAT was unexpected, wasn't it?


I'm MeMe to my grandson ~ my only grandchild. That I only see once a year. Who is approaching 10. And is plugged into anything electronic.

Pat MacKenzie said...

Is your son planning on getting married soon? You'll be a super MeeMaw (how did that term originate I wonder?) I have a feeling there'll be more than one Optimum Prime born in the next few years. It seems to be gaining in popularity.

BrownFamily said...

So funny! I just love reading your posts!

Oh, and for some weird reason I can't comment back on my own blog so in answer to your question the other day, no, I sadly didn't make that quilt (I wish!) That is one of my goals in learn to quilt some day!

Colleen - the AmAzINg Mrs. B said...

hahahhahahaaa! My son's VERY favorite toy was Optimus Prime...he would definatley have done this..he's not able to have children, so I htink my 5 are what I get..and that's great. You'll be a wonderful grandma!!

Opie..I love it......

bj said...

haaaaa...too cute.
I have 2 kids and from them...
10 grands., just hang in will happen! :)

bj said...

O, and I meant to add...I am MEMAW to all of them. :)

Anonymous said...

oh my gosh how sweet is that! I will tell you my daughter said she would never have children and then when she turned 30 she changed her mind.I love the name Opie!