Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Post Where I Sing You a Lullaby and Almost Die.

Ok, so yesterday I posted about
 how I may never become a Grandmother.

I didn't tell you the whole story.
The story about my lunch with Daniel was true
but I didn't explain why my daughter
does not want to be a mother.

It's not that she doesn't like children.
She does.
The fact is, she decided years ago
that she would never do to a child what I did to her.

We have a family tradition here.
There is a lullaby that is sung to the babies in this family.
I sang it to my children.
My grandmother used to sing it to me.
Her grandmother sang it to her.

We lovingly refer to it as "The Dead Baby Song."
And it's meant to be soothing.
And it always puts the babies right to sleep.
I have no idea the origin of this song.
Or why someone thought it would be
a good idea to sing this to a child.
But tradition is tradition.
And so we sing.

I was going to just write the words down for you
but then I decided that I would try to sing it for you on my webcam.
Because I don't have a fancy video recorder.

Here is the debut of the first ever video blog post
where I wow you all with my amazing video skills
and you can see how natural I am in front of the camera.

Son of a Biscuit Eater!
Did you see that??!!
I just choked on my own spit
and almost died.
Thank you to all of you who stopped immediately to pray for me.

Those of you who laughed should
 pray now because you're
probably going to hell.

Let's try that again, shall we?

So there ya have it.
Do I deserve to be a grandmother
or not?

Am I being cruel and unusual?



Our really empty nest said...

Holly, it just may be me but when I click on the video, it says this video is private, and wont let me see it?!!?!? Sue

Lucy aka Roeann said...

I cannot belive this!! My mother and grandmother sang this song and I sang it to my kids and now my grandchildren.

We REALLY do need to meet. I learned it with some different words and it has four verses. And no I don't think it's creepy. We all grew up with it being a really neat memory.

And .... sorry. But I fell on the floor laughing at your . . .well.... your misfortune. :(

I'm a really bad person.

Mikalah said... Funniest post ever! I choke on my own spit all the time. It is so uncomfortable. On a side note... Crap, is it bad that I put on makeup to go to Wal Mart? Is that why all the women glare at me when I walk in? =) As far as the lullaby, I think it's great. Grandma's can get away with anything! Besides, so many of the "lullabies" that we sing are about creepy things like bubonic plague anyway.

Anonymous said...

I love it!It is a bit sad but babies won't know.Ithink you sing beautiful,, I love it.Holly if you think about it,, (my daughter pointed this out) Rock a by baby talks about baby falling from trees so there you go, my daughter says that isn't comforting,,Well done Holly!!!!

just call me jo said...

OK--Yes, my dear friend, you are weird! The lullaby not so much. Those little kids never listen to WHAT you say; it's the tone and attitude with which you say it that matters. With that sweet, melodic voice and the push-up bra, you should have them asleep in no time. You SHOULD be a g'ma, fer shur. Sorry I didn't alarm over the spit thing. I thought you were kidding. You're such a kidder, you know. Just drink a Diet Coke and kick up your feet. This heat'll kill you before the spit does. We mush protect the elderly and check on them during these excessive temps. Let me know if you need help. I have no idea where you live, remember.

Laraine Eddington said...

My grandma sang this, my Mom sang this I sang it to my kids and now my grandkids. It was great to hear your version. Tell your daughter not to worry.

Speedy Lady said...

You could sing me a lullaby anytime! You have a pretty voice. As for the song, most of the old lullabies are weirdly worded (thinking rock-a-bye baby). Thank you for sharing. I'm so glad you didn't almost die. :)

Speedy Lady said...

p.s. Where in Indiana did you live? I'm grew up in a small town called Fairmount (half-way between Indy and Fort Wayne)

just call me jo said...

I meant "must" instead of "mush" check the elderly. Sorry, I'm elderly.

Anonymous said...

You are a brave woman Holly. First to actually think of webcaming yourself and then to actually sing! I bow to you......

Nice bra....very perky.

Your voice is sweet, by the way, and higher than I would have thought.

The choking....thought you were kidding (like Jo) 'cuz you would do that to see if we were paying attention!

The lullaby. I ain't never heard that one before. Is that one from Indiana? Have to agree that babies do NOT hear the words to songs (or at least pay attention) until they're about 2-3 and just love the fact that you are singing to them. After age 3, you'll have to get a new lineup 'cuz then they are WAY to smart!

Still bowing......

Elaine @ Sunny Simple Life said...

Oh my you are my laugh I get everyday or at least when you post. This is the funniest yet. I bet you are great at parties. As for the grandkid thing, two of mind say they are not sure if they want kids. I think having a baby in my 40s while they were teens ruined babies for them. All the mystique is gone. My 13 yr old however wants tons someday. She is a better mother to Quinn than I am.

Holly said...

Just thought I'd let you know that I do happen to choke on my spit a lot and it was not by any means faked. After I did that first video, I did a second one that didn't have the choking in it but then decided to go ahead and just post the first one. I know, what are the chances?

Bethany said...

I've never heard this before! My first reaction was a combination of "OH my!" and "WTF?" But people sing that song about cradles falling out of trees so is this that different? At least the red robin gave a proper funeral :) It's a pretty tune though and you sing it well. I think you deserve to be a grandma - the best kind are the ones that wait until the kids are dropped off and then say "Let's have some fun."

Pat MacKenzie said...

Well, now that I've picked myself up off the floor and can see through the tears again - tears of laughter, that is - I can tell you for sure that you deserve to be a grandma if anyone does. Your voice is sweet but you'll make them go to sleep with a smile on their faces and laughter in their hearts.

Kris said...

OK..where to begin? First, I was listening along, and I NEARLY choked and died from laughing so hard at your spit choking video! I was eating toast, and nearly choked to death myself!!! YOU KILL me Holly!! Now, for that song. DO NOT, I repeat...DO NOT sing that morbid song to your sweet babies! When you come, we must learn some new lullabyes!!!! Mary Had A Little Lamb, comes to mind...howza about one? No one dies, no one gets hurt!!!
Love the push up bra! I need a heavy duty, fully wired, hold them girls down, kind of bra! E isn't pretty!!
Can't wait to play with you girls next month!!

Pat MacKenzie said...

PS. I made Lloyd watch both videos. Now he wants to hang out with us when we get together cause you're so funny!! I had never heard that song before but I think I'll have to play it over and over until I have it memorized and can sing it to my own helpless little babies.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh Holly that was so funny!!!! Btw you're so pretty w/out make up! And thank you for the push up bra, I did appreciate that! I'm sure the Walmart folks did too.

Ashley said...

I laughed so hard I almost cried. That is not such a great lullaby. Singing about dead babies to your baby? I wouldn't make it thorough the song without crying. I just made up my own to sing to my daughter and now she sings along with me.

jenny said...

I've watched this three times in a row. I DIE!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!! laughing. and i love you. ever so.

Anonymous said...

I had never heard this song before - and I don't think I want to hear it again ...... I think I will have nightmares tonight!! Loved your videos, and of course I didn't laugh when you choked - ok, I lied, I laughed out loud!!

Anonymous said...

I had never heard this song before - and I don't think I want to hear it again ...... I think I will have nightmares tonight!! Loved your videos, and of course I didn't laugh when you choked - ok, I lied, I laughed out loud!!

Linda said...

Aren't all lullabies a bit weird...OK...I admit it...I laughed too!!

Genn said...

Holly! HIlarious Holly!
First, before I start my comment, I must say, I read my moms comment and did she just tell you she can't wait to play with your girls when you come????? o-em-gee!

Okay- First, so glad you did not choke to death on your spit!
Second- loved hearing your voice! You kill me. Did you ever think about doing stand up comedy? I think you could blow Chelsea Handler out of the water! For reals.
Third, nice push up. Thanks for sharing. Good for you! :)
AND about that song, it's not so bad. And you can actually sing pretty darn good.
And, I was laughing out loud so hard when you said you will tell your kids you won't sing it, and then as soon as they drop the baby at your house, you're gonna do it! OMG. Rolling around laughing. I love you. Thanks for the laugh!!!

Genn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tammy said...

Omg! I was laughing so hard! Especially when you choked on your spit. Yes, I'm going to hell. LoL!! Love ya!

Melynda said...

Kinda like a Grimm's fairy tale in song form, I like it and hell yes sing it to them, ahh I mean yeah respect your kids.....duh.

megan said...

Love it! I remember a song my grandpa used to sing about a guy that "combed his hair with a wagon wheel and died with a toothache in his heel."

ain't for city gals said...

hmmmm...don't know quite what to say, first I thought I would never sing that song but then I started humming Rock a Bye Baby and that one is not much better when you think about it...when you get a grandbaby I want to share!...I did just get a new great grand nephew who I must say is the absolutely cutest baby i have seen in a long long time...


I had to chuckle at your presentation. You made me smile my dear. Never heard the song in my whole life. Not sure I would sing it to my grandchildren. (mostly because I can't sing, really truly and because they'd ask me too many questions) But I kind of liked it, as songs go. Granted it was unusual. But that's what makes it so-oo special to your family, isn't it? Of course you should be a grandma.

lifeinredshoes said...

OMH, what sadistic granny made this song up? And I thought " when the bough breaks the cradle will fall was the stuff of nightmares.
Holly, please reconsider ;)

P.S. You have a perfectly lovely voice, sorry about the choking episode. I quickly hit my knees :)

Jon said...

Ashes, ashes, we all fall down. Mua ha ha ha ha!

gamer39 said...

Holly you ruined it for me. After reading your blog all this time I really imagined you sounded like Edie McClurg (you know....the secretary from Ferris Bueller's Day Off). I was so sure!

Decorating Lady's Humble Abode said...

Holly, I was holding my 5 month old granddaughter when I clicked on your video and she started laughing at your I think she liked it alot. I sing to my gbabies, My mother gave me a nickle to buy a pickle, but I didn't buy a pickle I bought some chewing gum, sooome chew, chew, chew, chew chewing gum. This is a cute little song to sing to babies. Thanks for the laugh. Decor. lady

Tabitha said...

ROFL! I think I'm totally going to Hell. Also, yeah, the song is pretty macabre. And here I always thought "Rock-a-bye Baby" was twisted! :-D

Nancy said...

Another HILARIOUS post, Holly! My husband's uncle used to sing this song, accompanied by his guitar...your version brought back good memories. :) Keep sharing!!

connie said...

I lost it as the push up bra part of the first vid. LOL Gotta love you. She lies btw - she CAN sing. I heard her at Karaoke once a few years ago. She has an amazing voice.

marion said...

Kevin wanted to know "does Brian know she does that?" You're crazy , but that's why you fit in with this family. Love you, Meme