Saturday, August 20, 2011

To Tell the Tooth

This is a true story.
Possibly the truest story ever told.

My son is now all grown up
but when he was a little snot goblin child
he always did the strangest things.
For no apparent reason
other than to see me freak out.
One day I got a call from his preschool teacher
that I needed to come and pick Daniel up
because he had fallen and cut his lip.

When I got to the school
he was sitting there with an ice bag on his face.
And his shirt was covered in blood.

I asked him what had happened
and he said that he fell on the sidewalk
and his tooth cut his lip.

"Let me see", I said pulling the ice away.
The lip was bloody and swollen
but didn't look too bad.

I looked inside his mouth and his front teeth
had obviously been hit pretty hard
because they were starting to turn black.

I got him into the car
and rushed to the dentist.
I asked him several times on the way
if his teeth were hurting.
He said no, they weren't.

I got to the dentist
and told the receptionist that we needed
to see the dentist immediately.
She asked if we had an appointment because
they were extremely busy that day.
I told her we did not but that it
was an emergency.

I showed her Daniel's teeth and she
asked him if his teeth hurt.
He told her that they did not.
She then went back to get the dentist.

When the dentist finally got in to see him,
he wasn't very happy that he had to
arrange his schedule to accommodate my child,
which ticked me off.

This was a flipping emergency!

He looked at his blackened teeth
and said, "Ouch, that looks like it hurts!"
Daniel told him that no, it didn't hurt.

The dentist left the room saying something about
getting some xrays.
I sat alone with my poor baby boy
still wearing his bloody shirt.

I told Daniel,
"I don't know why your teeth don't hurt.
They're turning black."

Daniel smiled at me and said,
"I colored 'em wif a pencil."


"I colored 'em wif a pencil when I got to school."

We left under the pretense of
being upset with the entire staff, stating,
"We'll find a dentist who cares!"
as I pulled Daniel out the door.

And then I called the insurance company
and changed our dentist. 

The End



Anonymous said...

what a little monkey,, I hate to say this but,, ahem,,,, " The nut doesnt fall far from the tree",, he sounds like a child of yours,, lol,he's got your funny bone Holly,,I can see there was nevr a dull moment in that house!

Laraine Eddington said...

My children perfected the art of coloring extremely realistic fake bruises on various body parts using crayons. I sense a trend here.

Bethany said...

This is something my nephew would try.... I think it's quite fabulous myself.

sally said...

I had never heard that 2 favorites are: hand-carving the back seat of your car while you were driving and the stuff he put on top of the fan in his room which he then turned on. What was that stuff again??

just call me jo said...

It's a good think you have such a fine-tuned sense of humor. See, that's what I need to survive life. Instead I just swat things. That must have been one stupid dentist. Glad you changed.

Debi@7Gates said...

That is honestly too funny. Does he, in any way, take after his mother?

Anonymous said...

Daniel you scampster....or words with some of the same letters in it! If you get my drift.

My son actually DID break his front teeth when he was 8. He got a new bike for his birthday and flipped over the handlebars onto his face. The dentist wired his teeth together after pushing them back into place. BUT, they were NOT black (Daniel).


Anonymous said...

My immediate response was 'that child will go far' ...... so did he go far??!!

Ann said...

Soooo funny! That's a boy for you ... I had two. I wonder what little girls do ... of course, I never did those things. Just when I was about four, I packed up my belongings in a kerchief, slung them over my shoulder and ran away -- to the farm down the road where the old man who lived there kept shiny quarters in a dish on his kitchen table. I took some, stuffed them in my pocket and continued on my journey ... until ... I heard my Dad's truck coming down the road after me. And then somehow I knew I was in trouble -- big trouble. I got my bottom paddled (it was legal back then and a good thing) while both my parents cried as hard as I was. Yep, guess little girls can be "bad" too. Blessings, Ann

Melynda said...

Hmmmm, it does appear that boys take after their mother.......

deb said...

lolololol............well, maybe it takes one to know one....lololol...soooo cute!!!

corners of my life said...

I wish we had blog land when our children were little. It would have been a great way to embarass them on a regular basis.

Lucy aka Roeann said...

What 'corners of my life' said?? I've wished for blogland a million times back then when I needed it for things things like the time my #2 child cut off his finger in the door jam and I used the handy dandy wet dishrag to hold it together thus getting a sermon from the ER doc because I used that rag. Hey! I should get points for even thinking to hold that finger together with SOMETHING. Anything. BooHiss to your dentist.

Kris said...

LOL!!!! How are you? I am home. It is good to be back!

Pat MacKenzie said...

Aren't you glad they grow out of such antics. You can only hope his kids turn out just like him (and his mother)

Anonymous said...


Mikalah said...

Hahah, that is TOO funny Holly! What a little stinker! I totally would have found a new dentist too. =)

Tabitha said...

My husband just told me to keep it down because the baby's trying to sleep. I was literally laughing out loud quite loudly. That's a hoot! :-D