Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Well Grassy-Ass to You Fella!

An unsuspecting redhead (UR) 
emerged from the corner Circle K
with the obligatory Diet Coke
into the blinding hot Arizona sun.

Up walks a tall Hispanic male (HM)
 with a pony tail and a tattoo of a tiger on his neck.
He hands her a CD before she can utter a word.
 On the cover is a picture of an old tennis shoe
laying on a gravel road.

HM: Dees is a CD of my freends band.
         Day jes won choo to leesen to dare music.

UR: (trying to hand back the CD) um, no, but thanks.

HM: But ees free!

UR: I only really listen to Country music but thanks.

HM: Its has two Country songs een it.

UR: Oh, well, okay, thanks.

HM: We jees wan a $5 donation.

UR: (trying once again to hand back the CD)
          Really, you can take it back. I won’t listen to it.

HM: But they is reeel good.

UR: How about a dollar?

HM: Ok, you leesen to it tonight.

 
She gave him a dollar
and jumped into the Jeep and locked the door.
Turned the CD player on and popped it in.
There were about three beats of music
then just some scratching noises.
The man was standing next to another car
 talking to someone else.
She got out and walked up to him.

UR: Um, this doesn’t work.

HM: Choo got a receipt?

UR:  Why did you give me a CD? 
          Why didn't you just ask for money?

HM:  Hey Lady, I'm a beesnus man.

Holly
xxx-ooo

22 comments:

Bethany said...

Oh. My God. This is freakin' awesome!!! This is one of those things that would only happen to you. And my mother ;)

ain't for city gals said...

I told you to quit drinking those diet Cokes!!!...If it wasn't for my mom and dad I would never go to Phoenix again in my life...sorry you and Jo would have to come up to Prescott...to bad construction isn't like it used to be...Brian could get a job at Shuck concrete...they are about 5 miles from us...you guys could have the little guest house...we are moving over the to "big" guest house soon!!..I've got it all figured out....

laurie said...

oh my gosh,, thats really creepy!! I thik I'd rather battle the moose! That offer from the above commenter sounds good,, I will send you some Autumn when it comes,

Dina said...

Oh my goodness! Shoulda told him you added a couple of tracks to it and wanted $1.50 for it. JK!!!!!

lifeinredshoes said...

OMH! More guts than a slaughter house.

just call me jo said...

Dear UR,

NEVER trust a HM. Especially those at Circle K any where in the world. Creepy dang people in this world. I'll bet they have 'em in Prescott (Press-cut) too. The world is strange and cold...

JBD

~Niki~ said...

that crap happens to me all the time here in mesa. ugh!
i see a person like that and run the other way. or i give a dirty look. they know better i guess than to approach me. you must be more approachable than me LOL

A Vintage Green said...

Ugg. Be careful.

Jan said...

Holy-crapola...that is scary.
Get the heck outta there girl!
BTW, you could paint the CD and hang it on your antenna...quite festive!

Colleen - the AmAzINg Mrs. B said...

You were crazy...uh..brave to even put it in your CD player..it could have been like, oh, pornography and you probably don't even have a pornograph!

PS...I love your..um..his accent!

just call me jo said...

That's what I wanna see--paint it and hang it on your rear view mirror to remind you to run like hell when approached by men with tiger tatoos on their necks. (That might have given you a clue...)

ain't for city gals said...

lol...everyone coming back to read the comments!! ok...not everyone..just me and Jo!!..lol...you almost have to live here to picture it!!

Carrie @ Cottage Cozy said...

Yikes....

Decorating Lady's Humble Abode said...

My sister and I pulled into a shopping mall in Southern California to do some shopping. When we got back to her car we noticed she had a flat tire...ummm it wasn't flat when we pulled in? Three mexican guys came over and offered to change the tire for us...ummmm. My sister said "thanks" and that is when the ring leader of the three stuck out his hand and asked for $10.00. My sister said "no thanks I'll call AAA" The ring leader said "ohhh that will take awhile for them to show up" My sister said "I know, but I'm not in a hurry" They kept insisting on wanting to change the tire. We finally said a big fat "NOOO". They walked away cussing in spanish to us. LOL I was raised in southern Cali. and I know some of the naughty words in Spanish, so, what they said was not nice. LOL I wonder how many times this little trick works...ummm.

Melynda said...

Hmmmm, I think that happens in Yakima too!

Laraine Eddington said...

This made my mom and I laugh hard. Great retelling of a great story.

Pat MacKenzie said...

Gotta admire their gumption if nothing else. I'm so gullible I probably would have bought five of their stupid CDs to give to friends. I wish I was good with quick comebacks. I'd say "sure, but first I need to take a picture of your cool tiger tattoo and any others you might have hidden on your person. I need it for my blog."

Whosyergurl said...

I'm sorry, Holly, but this is HILARIOUS!
xo, Cheryl

frayedattheedge said...

Fabulous!! I love country music - I can listen to American country music stations online!

frayedattheedge said...

Fabulous!! I love country music - I can listen to American country music stations online!

Elaine @ Sunny Simple Life said...

Is this true! It would be scary if not so funny.

Speedy Lady said...

Something similar happened to me only the guy was "deaf" and he was soliciting a sign language brochure. I'm pretty sure he "cussed me out" in sign language.