Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Who's in Charge Here Anyway?

I'm all about spoiling our pets.
However, it's gotten out of control.
Big changes are taking place today.
And NO ONE is happy.
It started with this one.
Her Royal Highness, Miss Gizaboo, Princess of the Royal Litter box.
aka Gizzy.
This is NOT my cat.
She will have nothing to do with me.
She only likes my husband.
Whatever!
Anyway, night before last she woke me up making these horrible deep moaning sounds.
Yes, she hit puberty and was feeling much alone and deprived in a house full of female animals.
We've been meaning to get her in to the vet for her "lady" appointment but it seems we waited too long.
She is strictly an indoor cat and has been content with that so far.
Not so much today.
She's wanting to slip out the doggie door and find a suitor.
A bit of whoring about, if you may.
For obvious reasons, we can't have that.
Which means that the lock goes on the doggie door.
Which now brings us to this one.
Lil Shit Blevins
aka Poochie
Who is a tad spoiled herself.
This is my dog.
I'm her favorite people.
She keeps forgetting the doggie door is locked and bangs her head into it.
And she's fat.
Seriously fat.
But I think it's hereditary, I'm fat too.
So, in addition to having her potty times arranged according to my schedule, she is also now on a diet.
She is no longer free feeding from an everlasting bowl of munchies in the corner of the kitchen.
She is being fed twice a day, on a schedule.
She just stands in the kitchen and stares at the place where her bowl used to be.
Which is right next to where the cat food bowl has been.
The dog will eat cat food.
 She'll eat the poop from the litter box if she thinks she's being starved.
You're welcome.
So, now we have this one.

Miss Choo Choo Gillespie Blevins
aka Chooch
aka "not Hank"
She is an inside/outside cat.
She has always used the doggie door.
And now she can't.
And she is peeved.
This is the one responsible for The Great Easter Debacle of 2011.
With the weather warming up, the baby quail are hatching....and we don't need the babies in the house again this year.
So as of today, she is an indoor cat.
And her food dish has been moved from the kitchen to the laundry room so the dog won't eat it.
We are also refusing to turn on the tap in the bathroom for her so she can have fresh running water.
She will now be drinking out of the bowl.
Like a cat.
Everyone living here is greatly confused and stressed out.
Gizzy moans and rubs against anything that will stand still.
Lil Shit stares at the wall in the kitchen and whimpers.
Chooch is being very vocal and repeatedly claws at the window to the back yard and lays upside down in the bathroom sink.
And I'm taking up drinking.
Holly
xxx-ooo

12 comments:

Jan said...

I'll be down with a LARGE pitcher of Margs and a Kegger....hold on!



(laughing outloud in CO)

Hugs
Jan

Kris said...

Oy...and I thought I had trouble here on the farm!!!

Tammy said...

Haha!!! Sounds like fun! Have a drink for me!

Bethany said...

Good times :)

Ashley said...

Ewww I remember that horrible low meowing. My cat would always back up to any male who was sitting down looking at them like "Have your way with me already". And she would pee on my husbands clothes if he left them on the floor when she was in heat also.

Laraine Eddington said...

It must be a week for animals gone wild. Our Nixon beagle just jumped in the air and killed a Grackle. I hate Grackles but I hate the carnage more.

laurie said...

thankyou for commenting and please put those photos up when you do that teacup,,sounds like a plan for sure,,

laurie said...

I just read your comment about pressing pansies,, you know it probably will take two weeks for them to press,, some where online I read where you can do it in the micriwave but I'm to old fashioned to try that,,the watercolor paper is a really good idea,, (I just use mine up so fast, I'd be robbing the flowers to paint on it) I pressed tulip petals as well, just take them apart,,good luck

just call me jo said...

I like how laurie is oblivious to the pet post and is onto petal pressing...hahaha Your animals are more spoiled and strange than ours. (Love that Chooch is also known as "not Hank." (So I get a little confused!) I can just picture the dog staring at the space where his bowl used to be. How funny! Your cat kills baby quail?? oooh! I need to nap.

Melynda said...

Thanks to Jan, now that I know what we are drinking, I too will be down for a visit! Of course you do know that the Chairman of the Board only (likes) to drink from the bathroom sink, still wants to go outside and then turns around because he is frightened or worse eats some of the lawn and then shares it on the kitchen floor and thinks that I should watch him eat and will cry until I follow to the kitchen. But hey, normal compared to your, not!
PS love the photo of you and Brian!

Tabitha said...

Gizzy looks so much like my Berkeley it's spooky.

jenny said...

bwaaa hahhhhhhaaahahaha bwwa hahahaha. mu hahahahahaa. bwaa hahaha. you're killin me. and so are your animal children.