I am so alone.
Oh, yes, I used to have friends.
Friends who confided in me.
Told me their secrets.
Shared their inner most thoughts.
Their fears, dreams, and sorrows.
That was then.
Before blog fodder.
What is blog fodder, you ask?
1. blog fodder (n)
interesting idea, story, or link.
Referred to as blog fodder when your first reaction is to use it in your blog.
I used to walk into a room full of people and hear,
"Hey Holly, over here!!"
Now, I hear, "Shut up, here she comes."
Suffice it to say, if I happen to have my camera with me, people scatter as though I have the plague.
Let me give an example. I was talking to a friend the other day and the conversation went something like this:
Holly: So, what happened?
Friend: If I tell you, you're not going to post it on your blog, right?
Holly: What? How could you think I would p
Friend: I'm serious, you're not, right?
Holly: Of course I won't post it on
Friend: Holly!! I mean it!
Holly: Fine! Just don't say anything remotely funny.
Come on People!
What is wrong with you!
You were NOTHING before I put you on my blog!
You were NO ONE!
Now millions of people laugh at you.
This is the thanks I get?
(Ok, millions might be an overstatement)
But I think you can see where I'm going with this.
I can no longer be trusted.
Not with secrets.
Not with family photo albums.
Blog fodder is my crack.
I seek it out.
I will go to the dirtiest darkest places to find it.
I need it.
I NEED IT!
I'll sell out my family and friends to get it.
I'll lie, cheat and steal.
I only need a little bit to get me through.
I can stop at any time.
I just need one teeny tiny idea.
One tiny glimpse of humor to get the ball rolling.
And then I'm off, my fingers tap- tap- tapping away.
My head thrown back.
Selling my soul.
Taking you all with me.
And if all that fails, I'll make crap up.
I can't be trusted.
I can't be trusted.
Also, my father has grounded me because of yesterdays post and I've been told to return the family photo album.