Saturday, March 12, 2011

Geoffrey's A** is Grass

I have a personal trainer.
His name is Geoffrey.  Pronounced Joffrey.  With a British accent.
He lives in my head.
I made him up.
I don't like him.
He's cruel and full of trickery.
Here was our conversation this morning.

Geoffrey:  Eat a banana and then go put on your sports bra.
Me:  I'm not working out today.
Geoffrey:  Ok, you don't have to but you do need to put on your sports bra under your pajamas.
Me:  Why?
Geoffrey:  Just do it, you don't have to work out but you do need to put on that sports bra.
Me:  Fine.  Turn around.
Geoffrey:  Don't be silly, I'm gay. (handing me the banana)
Me:  Wow!  Okay.  (eating banana and putting on sports bra)
Geoffrey:  Ok, now you just need to turn on the Wii Fitness video and get the balance board out.
Me:  I thought you said I didn't have to work out.
Geoffrey:  You don't, but you do have to turn it on.  Go on.
Me:  I don't get it but ok.
Geoffrey:  Now stand up on the board and press start.
Me:  What?  I'm not going to...
Geoffrey:  Do it.  You don't have to work out, you just have to watch it.
Me:  You're weird but fine.  (Turning on the 10 minute free run)
Geoffrey:  Ok GO!!  It's starting without you and your going to have a big zero if you don't do this.  It will look really bad on your fitness assessment and it will mess up your progress.
Me:  I hate you!  (working up a sweat)



Melynda said...

He's tough! I feel for ya.....

ain't for city gals said...

lol....this is the same conversation I have with myself every morning! I tell myself just put your shoes on and start walking if nothing else and then I almost always jog my whole thing! I always tell myself if I just do this I don't have to do anything else all day!...I will e-mail you on the trailer stuff in a bit...

just call me jo said...

Thank heavens I don't have a trainer/tyrant to rule over my workout. Oh, let me think, I don't have a workout...hahaha sniff/snort!

Karen said...

Geez, I so wish I could afford one of those pushy trainers! Yours sounds a bit puffed up though. Maybe, just maybe you'll show him, huh? Like maybe you'll just get a big fat *10* and just show HIM! You go girl.....I'm rootin for ya.....from the couch;) ouch, I really need to get up and get moving!

Kris said...

Oh THAT GEOFFREY!!!! Hey...COME to Blog Sugar!!!! COME!!! Where does Cindy live too????? Come..I would love to meet you!!!!!

corners of my life said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
corners of my life said...

Last week my Wii trainer was sick and I had a substitute. Seriously, what is that about!!

Tabitha said...

Geoffrey sounds like he's well worth his imaginary paycheck. My imaginary trainer is named Susan. She sounds more like, "You don't feel up to going to Zumba? That's okay. Let's bake cookies instead."