Thursday, July 28, 2011

Losing It.

In the past few years,
I’ve lost parts of myself.
Little by little,
I’m being whittled away.

I’ve lost my gallbladder.
My wisdom teeth.
My uterus.
I’ve had parts of my cervix sliced out.

I’ve had skin biopsies.
And just last week I had a mole removed from my face.


I think this is why we all become “little old ladies”.
Of course we are little when we’re old!
Many of our parts have been taken from us.

We’re like zombies,
Parts falling off.
And still we continue on.

While sleeping, my body parts have held a meeting
and decided that my hearing will be the next thing to go.
I’ve already lost a lot of my memory,
my eyesight is not what it used to be,
and now my hearing has decided to follow suit.

A while back, my dear, sweet husband stated,
“We’ll go to Target in a little bit.”
What I heard was,
“You’re a retarded little bitch.”

He's still alive.



laurie said...

oh holly be comforted in the fact you are not alone,, I've never heard it put quite like you did but it is true,, sad but true.You are not old though,, just a pretty little thing,,poor hubby,,(I hope your hearing isn't too bad) I have two friends that are sisters and they both are going deaf,,its ver sad,,

Kris said...

Yep, the eyes go, the joints ache, the hearing goes, body parts fall off, and somehow, we still keep on tickin'
Lucky man, to have lived through such a thing!!!

Ann said...

You surely have a way of putting into words what we all feel. Puts a smile on my face.

just call me jo said...

I remember our faces when the waitress asked us "something" and neither of us understood a word she said. I've lost much of my mind too as well as most of those other parts you're without now. I always figured I had to weigh less with all those parts gone. But, alas, I gain fat where all those spaces are left. I still love you best.

Lucy said...

When the 'girls' got cut off and went to boobie heaven, I was ecstatic and I don't even want them to show their faces again! It was a true hate relationship with them. I'd love to lose a few more things.

Dina said...

I am with ya...I am slowly but surely shrinking in height. My goal is apparently to become a Polly Pocket.

Chatty Crone said...

LOL - I could not agree more - who in the world coined the phrase the Golden Years?

Erika said...

Ohhhh man!! Lol

I don't wanna grow up! :(

~Niki~ said...

oh i can SOOOO relate to this one~seems like i go to the dr at least twice a week. that's bad when you're a regular. oh well.

ain't for city gals said...

Oh girl..if you only knew...just pass the torch to your beautiful daughter...makes it all much easier!

jenny said...

girlfriend. one thing you haven't lost is your spunk. and even if you lost that.... you'd still be a hottie.

Pat MacKenzie said...

Your parting shot was priceless -had me laughing out loud.

It's a good thing we all come with spare parts, but I agree with Jo when she said the empty spaces quickly fill up with fat! I've also lost 2.5 inches in height along with my gall bladder, uterus, cervix. Still have the useless stuff like appendix and tonscils though. My knees will be the next to go. What fun!

Genn said...

A retarded little bitch...
oh i am laughing so hard!

Oh boy, hope you don't lose any other parts for a while!!! :)

And about that gator in your house, yuck! But the pie looks tasty!

Amy said...

I haven't quite lost as much as myself as you have: an appendix, wisdom teeth, an incisor, and my eyes were never good to begin with now my hearing is getting a little iffy. I don't want to get much older and lose anymore.

I live the "retarded bitch" misunderstanding. Hilarious!

A Vintage Green said...

Through laughter and big chuckles I am there too. The hearing thing is maddening. I can hear just fine most of the time but not conversation between rooms and its getting a bit tougher on the phone too.

Melynda said...

Oopsy, I think I have things backwards. I keep losing stuff, but not getting smaller. At this rate, I will be a big old lady......

Elaine @ Sunny Simple Life said...

Okay should I laugh at this post or cry? I'll choose to laugh. Hang in there Holly!!

bj said...

hahhahahahahahaahhahaha....I laughed out loud and hubby came running from the other room to see what the heck....You, sweetie, are so dang funny. I just HAVE to share this post with others...OK?

Linda said...

Now I know what my mother in law was talking about...I am lucky...I have most of the imporatnt parts!

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

Stopping by from Sweet Nothings, thanks for the chuckle! From one shrinking person to another... Happy Weekend:@)

deb said...

LMAO thanks for the laugh!!!!!!!!!!

lifeinredshoes said...

I lost my mind years ago, since then I don't notice the other stuff :)

Nancy said...

I haven't read your blog in a little bit...going back and catching up...and my stomach is starting to hurt from laughing. I'd love to share your loss-of-hearing story with my husband, but he's already gone to bed. If my memory allows, I'll try to share it tomorrow...too good to keep. LOVE your blog!!