A very true story.
In 1984, during my senior year in high school,
I took a class called JAG.
JAG stands for Jobs For America's Graduates.
The ultimate objective of the JAG program
is to provide students with classroom and
work-based learning experiences that result
in a quality job leading to a
career after graduation.
Sounds good right?
I can see why my parents fell for this.
Our teacher's name was Angel.
He used to teach Spanish
and Driver's Ed.
and Driver's Ed.
We were never given any books.
It's the only senior class I took that I remember.
There were eight very high tables in the classroom.
With six stools each.
No one ever sat in those stools.
We always sat on the tables.
I remember always trying to grab the table
next to the wall that had the outlet.
Because I could plug in my curling iron there.
We curled our hair and
painted our toenails in that class.
Angel allowed us to take smoke breaks.
And sometimes a run to Circle K for slushies.
We took naps.
Angel read People magazines.
At the end of the year, we all went to a
2 day JAG conference in Tucson.
It was held at a large hotel and there were
several other high schools in attendance.
One evening, while sitting out by the pool,
smoking cigarettes and drinking the wine coolers
that Angel provided for us,
Leif Garrett came into the pool area.
This Leif Garrett:
Not this Leif Garrett:
Although they are the same person.
If you don't know who Leif Garrett is then you are
probably too young to be reading this blog.
Or have better taste than I do.
He kind of strutted around with some friends of his,
and did cannonballs in the pool and tried to woo
us with his fancy diving skills.
He then walked up to me,
took a drag off my cigarette,
took a drink from my wine cooler,
and then kissed me.
Like, seriously kissed me.
I was more than a little grossed out.
But I said nothing.
I was completely blank.
No witty, effective reply.
My nimble, alert mind had failed me.
Apparently, JAG hadn't prepared me
for the art of quick mindedness,
and I blame it on Angel.
Or maybe the wine coolers.
Be honest with me,
do you think it's possible that my
lack of enthusiasm with Leif
could have been his downfall?