Friday, July 15, 2011

I May Have Ruined Him

A very true story.

In 1984, during my senior year in high school,
I took a class called JAG.
JAG stands for Jobs For America's Graduates.

The ultimate objective of the JAG program
is to provide students with classroom and
work-based learning experiences that result
in a quality job leading to a
career after graduation.

Sounds good right?

I can see why my parents fell for this.

Our teacher's name was Angel.
He used to teach Spanish
and Driver's Ed.

We were never given any books.
Or lectures.

It's the only senior class I took that I remember.
There were eight very high tables in the classroom.
With six stools each.

No one ever sat in those stools.
We always sat on the tables.
I remember always trying to grab the table
next to the wall that had the outlet.
Because I could plug in my curling iron there.
We curled our hair and
painted our toenails in that class.

Angel allowed us to take smoke breaks.
And sometimes a run to Circle K for slushies.
We took naps.
Angel read People magazines.

At the end of the year, we all went to a
2 day JAG conference in Tucson.
It was held at a large hotel and there were
several other high schools in attendance.

One evening, while sitting out by the pool,
smoking cigarettes and drinking the wine coolers
that Angel provided for us,
Leif Garrett came into the pool area.

This Leif Garrett:
Not this Leif Garrett:
Although they are the same person.
If you don't know who Leif Garrett is then you are
probably too young to be reading this blog.
Or have better taste than I do.

He kind of strutted around with some friends of his,
and did cannonballs in the pool and tried to woo
us with his fancy diving skills.

He then walked up to me,
took a drag off my cigarette,
took a drink from my wine cooler,
and then kissed me.
Like, seriously kissed me.

I was more than a little grossed out.
But I said nothing.
I was completely blank.
No witty, effective reply.
My nimble, alert mind had failed me.

Apparently, JAG hadn't prepared me
for the art of quick mindedness,
and I blame it on Angel.
Or maybe the wine coolers.

Be honest with me,
do you think it's possible that my
lack of enthusiasm with Leif
could have been his downfall?



ain't for city gals said...

You are going to have to explain this to me at lunch next week!

Our really empty nest said...

HAHAHA, that is a great story. And yes if anything in his life scarred him enough to turn him into THAT, I believe it had to be your reaction to his kiss!!!

Lucy said...

It's an absolute! BTW - did Angel continue on with his career in teaching? Because... well - just wondering. :)

laurie said...

I truly do believe he went on a down ward spiral after you're rejection or lack of response.That teacher would be canned if he was around now but I can see why the kids would adore him.Its so good to have you back,, I've missed this,,

corners of my life said...

Now that's a story.
Angel - a kid's dream come true a principal's nightmare.

Chatty Crone said...

You crushed his soul - you naughty girl! How could you?

Hey a teacher who did that now would be arrested - at least fired.

Did you learn anything - you said it was the only class you remembered - I think teachers ought to be a little more relaxed but not that much.

Elaine @ Sunny Simple Life said...

Ha this is so funny. I am sure that is it and not all the money he had and access to drugs or anything. How will you ever sleep again knowing you caused that to happen to him? Anyway too funny. I had a big old crush on him back in the day but sort of threw up in my mouth when I saw the current picture. Eeww. Has he ever changed.

Pat MacKenzie said...

It's a frightening power you have Holly to cause such a drastic change in that sweet innocent young man! Maybe if he kissed you now you could change him back into what he used to be!

~Niki~ said...

times were sure different. imagine what trouble that teacher would get in now?
i remember our english teacher in h/s let us watch videos all day because one kid worked at a video store. he would bribe her with whatever free movies she wanted. she constantly said OK, probably did not want to teach. amazing i turned out with half a brain! lol. did you go to school in AZ? I went to h/s in central phx.

Dina said...

I can sleep now as prior to this, I had been fretting about what may have caused this downward spiral for my dear sweet Leif. Can you explain Danny Bonaduce now?

Bethany said...

I can't help but ask---who's Leif Garrett? Maybe I'm not as old as my nephew tells me I am.......

Kris said...

Oh my! You kissed him? Ewwwww!!!!
You never cease to amaze me. What else are you holding out on?

Whosyergurl said...

love this.
So Leif is totally a criminal these days? omg. it is ALL your fault!
too funny!

xo, Cheryl

Speedy Lady said...

I've never kissed Leif Garrett but I did touch Merrill Osmond on the hiney. I was standing among the Osmond Bros. for a meet and greet a few months ago. As we were crowding together, I put my arm through his, around his waist, then I realized my hand was resting on rear-end. I was okay with that.

Speedy Lady said...

p.s. I am a Hoosier-- born, bred and for life. I REALLY enjoy reading your blog. :)

lifeinredshoes said...

OMH! I am more than just a chance ;)
But how many of those kids can point a finger at Mr. Angel for theirs?

just call me jo said...

That Mr. Angel or whatever his real name was (you probably changed it to protect his butt) should be slapped up along side the head. What a dope! As is Leif...Putuy! Yuk! Did that make you quit smoking? I'm with Sheryl. I must hear more...

Laraine Eddington said...

I can't believe it took you this many posts to finally get around to your Lief Garret fling. Someday I just might tell you about me and Donny Osmond

Genn said...

I don't know who he is, but I want to.

Hold on a sec...

Okay, I just googled him.
And yes, I do believe his downward spiral was all because you denied him any further romantic episodes.
I'm sure of it.


ps- curling your hair in class.
ha. reminds me of my hs computer class that my friend and i used to perfect our mascara in.

Melynda said...

I think that rejection was difficult, because well, he needed your curling iron when you were through with it, don't you know. Since he was not able to continue his "primping" routine, he let the whole process go, and girl look what happened!!!!!!!! It could be said, he was never the same man, once you were done with him.......

Nancy said...

Okay, I know I'm old enough to read your blog, but I had to google old Leif. :) That's when I found out maybe I'm a little too old to read your blog...I was listening to country music by the LATE 70s. :) I LOVE your story, though, and I'm sure that your rejection is for sure the cause of Leif's demise. Shame on you! :)Hilarious!!

Seven Gates Farm said...

What if you had passionately kissed him back???? This whole story would have changed!!! Debi

Amy said...

Very funny story!

I have to say yuck on the kiss. I would say your lack of enthusiasm just shows good taste on your part.

Tabitha said...

I just snorted and shot a bit of iced tea through my nose. I must remember to not drink and read your blog at the same time. (Isn't this the second time that's happened?!) You're hilarious. :-)