My Sky Diving Injury

Know what’s awesome?

Me.

Know what else is awesome?

Diet Coke.

Know what else?

Me drinking Diet Coke.

That has nothing to do with anything.

I have an appointment for my yearly mammogram

but I had to go to the doctor for my breast exam first.

That’s fun.

I always feel the need to apologize to the doctor for my lumpy breasts.

That’s weird, right?

I mean it’s not my fault I have bumps and lumps and stuff in there.

I honestly don’t know how he can tell what he’s feeling in there anyway.

It’s kinda like frisking the comforter to try to find your panties

in your bed after you've already made it. 

Or something like that.

That doesn't have anything to do with anything either.

So, I went to the doctor and told him that I had injured my arms gardening.
He thought it was probably my neck causing my arm pain.
So he did an xray and sent me to Sports Medicine.
And know what?

Apparently,
I fractured my neck.
No need to read that again,
I'll repeat it.

I fractured my neck!!

I have two stress fractures in my neck.
And the worse part is
 I was supposed to meet Jo for lunch tomorrow
and now I have to cancel
because I'm on muscle relaxers
and I can't drive
and now I can't eat salad and drink Diet Coke with Jo
and make fun of her for another two weeks.

If you know Jo,
that's a long time to go without making fun of her.

Jo says I should tell you all that I injured my neck sky diving,
not gardening.
But I'm not ashamed.
Gardening is dangerous work.
Dirt is heavy.
And so is steer poop.

So that's enough of that.
Let's look at some pretty flowers.

I bought some tulips and planted them in a

Goodwill container yesterday.

Tulips are my favorite flower.

In case you wanted to send me flowers.

Some people don't like to send flowers
so I thought I'd let you know that I like Milk Duds and Lasagna too
in case you want to send either of those.

I will start taking the muscle relaxers tomorrow
and I can't tell you what will happen on this blog
for the next few days.

I may forget I have a blog or I may post naked pictures of myself
if the muscle relaxers are really good.
Let's just go with it and see what happens.

xxxooo

Holly