Thursday, March 21, 2013

The Wagnthap's House of Humor and Torment

Spring is here.
I know this because every time I walk outside onto my patio
my nose holes are assaulted 
with the aroma of orange blossoms and steer manure.

(picture of neither orange blossoms nor manure,
just lantanas and palm trees)

I have not posted anything in 3 weeks.
This is due to being busy with the craziness that has become my life
and part pure laziness.

I planned on doing a wonderful post
for my 3 year blog anniversary.
I was going to do a giveaway.
It was going to be awesome.
This is where the laziness set it.

I would have had to go shopping
and buy some spectacular shi-dazzle to give away
and then write a post about it.

It just wasn't in the cards, people.

Let's talk about what's going on around these here parts.
When I say "Let's talk about this",
What I mean is,
I'm going to do some ranting
and you're going to sit there and read about it.

Easy Peasy.
Very little work on your part.

Are you still here?
Good, because this post just goes on and on.

First off,
I finally know what these things are
that are growing on the side of the house.
They finally flowered.
I have calla lilies.

Thank you to everyone who commented in my earlier post
to tell me these were either calla lilies, canna lilies, or hostas.
Now we can all sleep.

The garden is coming along nicely.
It's not been an easy process for this first time gardener.
We've had to deal with neighborhood cats
leaving their pootie rolls in the lettuce patch
and birds stealing the watermelon seeds,
only to move them to strange places throughout the yard.
We've found watermelon vines growing under our pool pump,
in the rocks under the tree
and in a flower pot on our patio.

Turns out, watermelons will grow anywhere
without constant supervision.

The watermelon seedlings were found and moved back to the garden.

The neighbor's cats were deterred 
by putting orange rinds around the soil
and by putting carpet tack strips on top of the block walls
 surrounding our back yard.

Don't judge me.
Do you like doody flavored salad?

We've placed bird netting over the strawberries
and the watermelon seedlings.

We've put marigolds in
as a deterrent to bugs and such.
The whirly gigs seem to scare the birds and cats
and they're pretty, so there you have it.

We were excited to eat our very first two strawberries of the season
which were about the size of small ball bearings.
While I ate it, I could almost taste it.

Here's what we've got going right now.

Green Leaf and Romaine

Red and White Potatoes
Yellow and green onions

Tomatoes, Peppers, Corn and Strawberries.

Also, if you don't have this hose,
run out and get one NOW.
That's practically an order.
I will never, ever use a big old green "non-kinking" hose
that weighs 3 tons and kinks like a Mother Hubbard.
Big green hose selling people are lying liar heads.

This hose is 100 feet long and it weighs practically nothing.
Best purchase I've made in a long time.

Enough talk about the garden.

Let's move onto the house for a bit.

My project this week is to remove the wall paper in our bedroom.
I decided to start in a corner and just see what's underneath.

Like everything else we've dealt with since moving here,
it's been an ordeal.
The previous (and original) owners
put the wallpaper up over
plain old drywall.
Un-primed, unpainted drywall.
So, that's fun.
(And who doesn't love Hunter green chair rail?)

This is not our first experience with weird happenings here.

For example,
the wiring here is so strange.
All the light switches are upside down.
If the lights are off,
the switches are in the "up" position.
And, if you plug anything into the outlet
on the patio (like the weed whacker),
the evaporative cooler on the roof turns on 
even though the cooler is turned off at the main box.
The misting system over the patio is 
hooked up to the sprinkler system so when
the sprinklers go on,
the misters turn on.

What the What?

I've come to refer to the previous owners as
Mr. and Mrs. Wagnthap.
(We Ain't Got No Time to Hire a Professional)

They must have been a hoot.

I think I'll leave it at that for now.
I've got a product review with a freebie 
coming up in the next couple of days
so be sure to stop by.



Deb~in~Denver said...

Your gardens are looking great! What kind of hose is that and where did you find it? I've tried every non-kink hose out there and haven't found one that works! We have often wondered what the previous owners of our house were thinking....or if they were. How is your neck doing?

Have a great day!

Holly said...


It's called the Xhose.
We first saw it at a Home and Garden show.
I went home and looked on Ebay and found it for less.

I bought a 25 foot for the front yard and 2 fifty foot hoses for the back that hook together.
I seriously love it and would never go back.

My neck is feeling fine.
Thanks for asking!

Lisa Tucker said...

I laughed out loud at "Do you like doody flavored salad?"'ve missed

Bethany said...

I was wondering about those hoses! We have a few kinked green ones hooked together to make it all around the property, and the most maddening chore I can think of is winding it back up.

Anonymous said...

I passed by the Xhose today at the local store. Now I have to go back and get one because YOU said so. And I always listen to your sage advise.

NICE garden and even nicer (and clever) ways to deter those cats. Whodathunk to use tack strips?

Your CANNA LILLIES are beautiful!

Don't twist your neck while pulling off that wallpaper, girl.

Nice to see you!

tainted with a positive view said...

Love your garden! And enjoyed your electrical story.


I want that hose, color and all. Where, if you don't mind my being nosy, did you get it?

just call me jo said...

Well, aren't you just a busy bee! The garden is lovely! Just adorable. I've done a little gardening. You must come see because I can't seem to post anything. It's just too HARD. I will look for the hose. We went to the home and garden show. I didn't see it there, but I was hyperventilating because of the crowds, we had Gunnar (who was adorable but still...), and Rick was just going back to H & R Block for popcorn. It's not the same with the retelling. Trust me. I hate cats from neighbors pooping in my sandbox. (well, it was sandbox, now it's our front yard and Lola eats it--stupid dog.) I'm exhausted.

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

Sounds like you've been busy! Best of luck with the garden and I love Wagnthap:@)

RoeH said...

I'm copying Jo. I'm getting one of those hoses because YOU told me to get one. And that's what I will tell the hose seller. But mostly because every time I use this &^#!! hose that I have now, I have to say *!%&$ and &!!!%+@#! and $%$#@$%&*()^#$%^%#@!!!! when I try to use it and it kinks every three inches. GRrrrrrrrr. At least that new one will be good for my temper. Love the garden.

Anonymous said...

your calla lillies are beautiful! What a great surprise and thats the best part of spring in a new house, am I right?
Your garden looks amazing, beautiful, of course we are still under 20 feet of snow , anything green looks amazing but yours do look very healthy.Beautiful lettuce!!Very clever you are at deterring all the pests, the cat thingy with the nails, borders on the barbaric but I agree, no cat poop please!The previous owners must have been funny for sure, we have to have all electrics checked here in Canada before they turn the power on for us, isn't it the same everywhere, I wonder how they got away with all the boo boo's, its so good to see you back, I missed you.You so much fun to read, you find the humor in everything,

Whosyergurl said...

You said "pootie" and "doody" in the same post! wah ha ha.
I am jealous of so much this little comment box isn't big enough. CALLA LILLIES growing in your yard? And all that stuff is growing? Do you know they are callin' for snow in these parts? (this Sunday...maybe a lOT of snow) oh well. I still love you. You are lucky you are an old Hoosier girl! xo, Cheryl

My Maine Blog said...

Hello Holly...I happened upon your blog today from a post you wrote on Lisa's blog...My Ordinary Country Life. I absolutely love your blog, your gardens and most of all your humor. Your blog is sooooooooo entertaining to say the least and I love, love, love to have certainly made me laugh this morning and I think I'll come here every morning to start my day ... cause it makes me smile. I'm your newest follower. Oh yah and I'm going to go get me one of those garden looks like the best thing since sliced bread.