I’m in the phasing out period of my forties.
I only know this because I do the math approximately every month.
When you are my age, you kind of forget how old you are.
And you have to use a calculator to figure it out.
Using an online date calculator I have discovered that I am
47 years, 5 months, and 27 days old.
17,347 days old.
Seems I would have done something with myself by now.
When you think about your life in days,
It does something strange to you.
It makes you rethink how you should be spending each moment.
“What did I do yesterday?”
For my 17,346th day on earth I celebrated by:
Picking wallpaper glue out of my hair
Hiding behind my BBQ grill and then leaping out
to scare pigeons from my garden
Going to Walmart to buy kitty litter and two cucumbers
Changing my air filters
Taking an Epsom salt bath
(because I am tens of thousands of days old now)
Shouldn't I celebrate each day with
Cake, or a bottle of wine, or a lap dance or something?
“Make Everyday Count”
Just so I could see if I'm doing this living thing all wrong.
Here’s what the interweb peoples suggest we should do.
Watch The Sun Rise
(It’s pretty, I get it, but every day?)
Take Time To Smell the Flowers
(I live in Arizona and have learned not to smell cacti)
Live with Purpose
(I purposely ate an entire box of Cheezits while watching Duck Dynasty)
(I honestly believe that the right side of my body
is approximately 6 lbs heavier than the left side
which is why I fall down a lot more
than the average 17,347 day old person)
Don’t Be Afraid
(I think the pigeon story speaks for itself)
So, where am I going with all this?
I have decided to be content with the accomplishments
I've made in the time I've spent on this
whirly little ball of water and mineral compounds
that we call the planet Earth.
I've produced two beautiful children.
(Well, one did go through a seriously awkward stage
between the ages of 6 and 9 that I would actually not call beautiful)
I've married a wonderful man.
(Who will offer to make me toast
or hit the Whataburger drive through
when I just can't face the kitchen one more time)
I own a house that I love.
(Or I will, when the mortgage is paid off in
I am healthy.
(with the exception of my slightly elevated cholesterol,
my bum elbow,
and that thing that keeps growing back on my shoulder
that looks like a zit but I'm pretty sure it's shoulder cancer)
And, because I always include photos in my blog posts,
but have nothing that relates to this story,
please enjoy this picture of me when I was only
273 days old.