Sunday, March 24, 2013

Should I be Getting a Lap Dance or Something?

I’m in the phasing out period of my forties.
I only know this because I do the math approximately every month.
When you are my age, you kind of forget how old you are.
And you have to use a calculator to figure it out.

Using an online date calculator I have discovered that I am
47 years, 5 months, and 27 days old.


17,347 days old.

Seems I would have done something with myself by now.

When you think about your life in days,
It does something strange to you.
It makes you rethink how you should be spending each moment.

For example,
 “What did I do yesterday?”
Oh yes!
For my 17,346th day on earth I celebrated by:

Picking wallpaper glue out of my hair

Hiding behind my BBQ grill and then leaping out 
to scare pigeons from my garden

Going to Walmart to buy kitty litter and two cucumbers

Changing my air filters

Taking an Epsom salt bath
 (because I am tens of thousands of days old now)

Shouldn't I celebrate each day with
Cake, or a bottle of wine, or a lap dance or something?

I Googled
“Make Everyday Count”
Just so I could see if I'm doing this living thing all wrong.

Here’s what the interweb peoples suggest we should do.

Watch The Sun Rise
(It’s pretty, I get it, but every day?)

Take Time To Smell the Flowers
(I live in Arizona and have learned not to smell cacti)

Live with Purpose
(I purposely ate an entire box of Cheezits while watching Duck Dynasty)

Find Balance
(I honestly believe that the right side of my body 
is approximately 6 lbs heavier than the left side 
which is why I fall down a lot more
 than the average 17,347 day old person)

Don’t Be Afraid
(I think the pigeon story speaks for itself)

So, where am I going with all this?

I have decided to be content with the accomplishments
I've made in the time I've spent on this 
whirly little ball of water and mineral compounds
 that we call the planet Earth.

I've produced two beautiful children.
(Well, one did go through a seriously awkward stage 
between the ages of 6 and 9 that I would actually not call beautiful)

I've married a wonderful man.
(Who will offer to make me toast 
or hit the Whataburger drive through 
when I just can't face the kitchen one more time)

I own a house that I love.
(Or I will, when the mortgage is paid off in
10,957 days)

I am healthy.
(with the exception of my slightly elevated cholesterol,
 my bum elbow,
and that thing that keeps growing back on my shoulder
 that looks like a zit but I'm pretty sure it's shoulder cancer)

And, because I always include photos in my blog posts,
but have nothing that relates to this story,
please enjoy this picture of me when I was only
273 days old.




Elaine @ Sunny Simple Life said...

You are young woman!! 47 is the new 37 or something like that. You were such a darling baby. You're still cute. I'd date you.

just call me jo said...

You are really strange, Holly, but I like you just the same. Happy 17 thousand plus days old. I can't believe you sit around and figure out that stuff.

RoeH said...

47? Pffffft! A mere babe in arms. When you're 68, talk to me again. Of course I'll be dead then, but just come to my grave anyway. I'll console you. :)

Kris said...

Oh gosh, I have been a bad friend. Absent from blogging, and absent from visiting blogs. You were a darling baby!!! I would love to have the cute bunny applique on that darling dress you were wearing!
I will come back when I find my voice to blog. It hasn't happened yet. But soon.

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

Lovin' the bunny on your dress! Very seasonal:@)

Anonymous said...

Quick calculation here: I'm way over 22,995 days old.

Well, THAT hurt!

"Be Grateful" is a phrase that spins around my head often. On the days that aren't so 'cherry', it's more difficult to think that (especially when winter keeps hanging on and it was ZERO degrees this morning).

Personally, I think we're good to go for another 10,000 days!

Lisa Tucker said...

Wow...I am 132 days 10 hours and 46 seconds older than you....or something like that....which means I'm wiser so I say we are not old....:))))) And I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up....:))


I appreciated this more than you know. Just when I thought I needed to prove something to myself for my upcoming birthday, you've given me REAL food for thought. Especially about the cheeze-it's.



RobynFromSimplyme said...

LOL Awesome post Holly and LOVE your baby photo..I agree with YOU!.. be happy with where you are, what you have, what you've done.. I don't think there is any right or wrong.. We are who we are and YOU are wonderful, even if your right side is 6 pounds heavier than the left.. hehe :)

Melynda and Terry, we are the Browns! said...

I don't have to do all that calculating like you do, because I work where old folks live, that makes me the young one. when the day comes (and it is zooming close....EEK!) that I could live here, and I become old, I guess I will need to 1) retire or 2) get a different job. See how much easier it is to work from home.....

Laraine Eddington said...

I'm not going to tell you you're not old. I'm just going to tell you I'm a lot older. You're just a different version of cute now... Still solidly registering in the cuteness scale.

Anonymous said...

oh my gosh I missed your posts, I enjoy them so much, you make me laugh and sometimes you bring tears to my eyes in a good way, of course, what a beautiful baby!