Not to be confused with a whore house.
Although, living in a whore house would
certainly be more exciting.
I've always believed that if there were such a thing as a past life,
I would have either been a
Madame of a Ladies House of Ill Repute,
a Lounge Singer,
or Jessica Rabbit.
Either way, I would have been kinda slutty.
Alas, I am not.
I am just a middle aged women living in a house that is trying to kill me.
Financially, that is.
Let me start by telling you that there are so many things
that I love about this house.
I love my kitchen.
It's small and easy to work in.
I have a place for everything.
I love my back yard.
Even though caring for it is very time consuming.
I love that I have that ash tree there between the two patios.
The leaves change to orange and red in the fall and remind me of Indiana.
I love all the storage in this house.
However, since buying this home almost a year ago,
it is being a total douche canoe.
I am so grateful that we have a home warranty.
In the past year, this is what we have experienced.
Leak under the jetted tub causing damage to bedroom carpet.
Toilet leaking all over the bathroom floor.
Air conditioner going out twice.
Evaporative cooler going out.
Water softener leak.
Leak in the roof causing damage to bedroom ceiling.
Garage door opener calling it quits.
Tree in front yard infested with bore beetles.
Sprinkler system not working.
Polybutelene pipes replaced in garage.
Pool pump needing repair
Leak in the pool fountain
You may be asking yourself why we didn't get an inspection
prior to moving in.
We did, and all was fine.
Like I said, I am so thankful to have a home warranty
so that many of these things were covered and didn't
cost a lot out of pocket.
We have put ourselves back on a really strict budget.
Our paychecks just don't stretch like they used to.
Times are hard.
Money is tight.
The only shopping I do is at the grocery.
I don't go out for lunches.
Budgets are hard and boring.
But still, I sit here in my living room,
with my TV on mute,
listening for any strange noise that may indicate
that the next shoe has dropped.
Seriously, how many shoes can this house have???!!
Brian: Did you hear that?
Holly: Yes, it was just the ice maker.
Brian: Is it supposed to sound like that?
Holly: I think we have heavy ice.
Brian: That's not a real thing.
Holly: Turn the TV up.